Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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