hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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