she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
