Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
