have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
