i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
