Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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