We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
