Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
