Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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