I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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