Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
