He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
