I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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