Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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