i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
