This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
