Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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