Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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