Pants 0. Shit 1.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
