i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
