Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize