She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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