Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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