HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
