I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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