You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
