There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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