The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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