Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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