yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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