"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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