I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize