I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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