Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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