Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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