How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
