You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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