sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
