I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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