morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
