So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
