It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
