we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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