Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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