oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
