I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
