i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize