Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
