It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
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You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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