the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
