since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
