I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
