I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
