And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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