I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
