I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
