And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Everclear isn't food dammit
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
