So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
