So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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