did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
